like a lullaby for fallen sons

Self Awareness Down to a List

2010-12-28T14:29:00.003-05:00

most used phrases in writing:

1. And

2. I think

3. But

most used phrases in speech:

1. I mean

2. Okay

3. [laughter]

Unfear

2010-08-23T14:23:00.003-04:00

used to be
but no longer Scared Worried Wondering if I'm leaving anything
behind

I am

2010-08-11T10:19:00.001-04:00

the quietest sorry.

When I Sleep Noons

2010-06-19T20:07:00.004-04:00

who knew the best naps would be
those incited by twitches trying to pull me out of being
tired
full
warm breezes climb the back of my thighs
as I am contorted in my most comfortable shape
as I am eyelashes grazing the crescent bags painted acrostic like
Deeper
Rest
Easing
Aimlessly
More
Into
Nestled
Goneness

Thump Thump Thunder

2010-04-25T22:28:00.002-04:00

once it started thundering I didn't mind staying awake
sometimes since my curtains are drawn all the time
rain is the only thing that tells me there's a moving world out there

Strawberry Season

2010-04-21T20:41:00.003-04:00

I used to love strawberries
not anymore though
they don't taste as sweet

Worrying

2010-04-20T04:14:00.003-04:00

there is still an instilled stillness
right around this time when the only thing is the
whirring whirring turning motors of the laptop
and a distant toilet tank that does not silence

Thanks

2010-04-17T15:46:00.000-04:00

They can’t do anything on their own
She is so greedy and takes all that I hand her
He grabs onto my fingers and says thank you thank you thank you
I carry them to and from the only places they’ve ever known
And they sneeze in the crook of my arms
Bless you bless you bless you

Todawn

2010-04-09T03:48:00.001-04:00

Two cups of coffee on an empty stomach of 8 grapes
I heard the rain begin for the first time in a long while
The Russian Revolution and the Soviet Union left much to be desired

Et al.

2009-09-04T17:01:00.003-04:00

bare breeze
on the back of my neck
faced down
windward arms to my sides
hides something not worth hiding
biding my time
tied tripped up slipped
and can't take it back

Spring Is Shorter Now

2009-04-15T23:03:00.006-04:00

I have never seen anything
as cute as
when mommy plans her spring garden
these need sun
these need shade
these need friends
this needs to be there
so we can greet hellos
every morning
from our kitchen

Happy Realization

2009-04-15T22:51:00.002-04:00

when the warm lights seep through the curtains
like freshly baked bread
buttered with nice smooth knives
that can't hurt anyone
She puffs smoke billows into the night
and I run
dashing through the driveway
gravel friction
and the white streams through the blinds too
houses should never be empty

It's Okay

2009-04-15T20:07:00.005-04:00

I hate and I love pity
they pity
buy me ice cream
but the cashier scooper wage man
all he does is ask me cone or cup
gives me cup
I hate pity
he pities
even though I told him cone
pointed to this waffle cone fuck sugar cones for softserve
serves me right but wrong
stick it on the ice cream
I'll pay you all right

Sad Realizations

2009-04-12T15:20:00.003-04:00

I saw this the other day on http://www.postsecret.com/

and I realized

distance is a cruel cruel thing

and time is even worse

because it cannot be stopped.

Rainy Cities Transitioning from Winter

2009-04-11T10:41:00.002-04:00

Perhaps it is the way that all the white guys look the same
And all the Europeans wear the same
Shoes
I master over-generalizations
General Captain
Hates to pay Starbucks to brainwash his army
But better than XXX VIDEOS
Or maybe not
General Captain again
Peels burns on middle finger
Too full to bother eating
Own flesh
Roger
Out

A Specific Wednesday

2009-04-08T22:32:00.000-04:00

standing ovation bass for hours
cower in the shadow of CollegeBoard anti-christ
summer looms soon drawing near
here
we're doomed